Everytime I think, "Ok, this time I am really letting go of the wheel, Jesus....you can have it," I find that I have only lifted a single finger up off of that scary, sticky wheel of life. And He is gentle with me in the process, allowing me to learn to trust in Him, wooing me on a daily basis; a moment by moment basis.
But why does life get described as "scary & sticky" as I did so above? Well, let me clarify.
It is the season I am in right now. Everything was smooth sailing months ago when I was in a familiar place surrounded by familiar folks doing familiar things. My husband had a familiar job and though we loved God and have been in a process of growing in our walk with Him, things were just, well....easier.
So when I say scary and sticky I am not saying my entire life is this way or that I look at life from a glass half empty state. No, I am just going through a very different season right now.
My husband isn't around near as much due to his new job. It is a blessing ultimately because it has helped us trust God even more in different ways and gives us a unique amount of one-on-one time in His presence. (Aside from me being mom to 3 kids of course).
As I seek God more and more, I have found it difficult to sit as idly as I once have. My insides are stirring up and I feel the strong need for boldness, my weakest "link" if you want to call it that.
I was recently given a book called "The Way of the Master" and it has landed in my hands at the perfect moment. My heart is yearning for more, and daily as I feel less and less like I fit in with world and even other areas I used to feel comfortable in or places going or things doing, I am seeing now that it is all part of His plan, not that of my own.
If I had my way, it would be to make people happy. Don't tell them what I really feel because it may hurt them and drive them away. So I would stay quiet, or shy away. Avoid conflict. Blend in. But as I read the Word now, it is hitting me in the gut again like it did a couple years ago when God began to awaken me. I am being reminded, I believe, that Jesus came to tell people of the hope in Him, so that they would have a chance to turn from their ways and be freed from the future of eternal separation from God. Jesus was bold. He got to the root of the matter and did not apologize for doing it. He said it in love of course, but at least He told the Truth. Having epically failed in being bold, I believe this book is an answer to prayer. No more cowardess. Help me Lord!
I leave you with a small excerpt from page 3 of The Way of The Master by Kirk Cameron & Ray Comfort.
"Oswald J. Smith said, "Oh, my friends, we are loaded down with countless church activities, while the real work of the Church, that of evangelizing and winning the lost, is almost entirely neglected." We have been gazing to the heavens while sinners are sinking into hell. Worship is the highest calling of the Christian, and we can see in the book of Revelation that the church will one day be consumed in worship before the throne of the Almighty. But when we look back at the book of Acts, we don't find the church consumed with worship, instead we find that those Christians were devoted to reaching the lost to the point that they willingly gave their lives to preach the gospel. Time is short let us not sit passively by during these crucial days of opportunity.."
Blessings,
Meghan W.
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